Posted by
Roxanna M. on Tuesday, June 10, 2008 5:20:48 PM
From: Dick Dirtforbrains (D-IL)
To: Senate Demoncrat Caucus
RE: High Gas Prices
My Fellow Senators,
If we don’t fix this soon, the American public just might start blaming us. I know, I know, we’re largely responsible for the situation, but so far we’ve done a great job of pointing our fingers elsewhere. The people are started to clamor for drilling, but if we do that and the price goes down, everyone will know that it’s our fault that the price went up in the first plan. No sir, we’re not going to take any responsibility whatsoever for our actions. Kudos to Speaker Pelosi for blaming the oilmen in the White House. They’re so unpopular we can blame them for anything and get away with it.
Hauling the oil company executives to Washington, unfortunately, didn’t have the effect we wanted, especially that one jerk who had the nerve to stand up to Maxine Waters (D-CA) when she threatened to socialize the entire oil industry.
Halting shipments to the Strategic Petroleum Reserve was a complete bust, so we’re not going to talk about it at all, to anyone, ever.
One of our last shots is to impose a windfall profits tax. The oil companies need to know that there is a limit on how much profit they can take in this economy. The only problem with this is the fact that all of the proceeds will come to the government - talk about a windfall - and won’t do a thing to lower prices at the pump. Not only that, but we tried this once before and not only did domestic oil production drop, imports increased.
So, if someone tries to point this out, make sure we tell that person that he/she is a racist for not agreeing with something Barack Obama is in favor of. As an aside, the mileage we're going to get out of the guy is fabulous. Getting the Clintons out of our faces was a heckuva a bonus, too.
So, to recap: We take no responsibility whatsoever for the consequences of our complete and utter incompetence with regard to harvesting our own resources. We blame the greedy, evil oil executives. We never, ever talk about halting shipments to the SPR. And, we impose a windfall profits tax so the government will have an additional revenue stream. We’re going to need it because President Obama’s programs won’t come cheap.
As for the American people, who cares. If they really wanted leaders who would look out for them, why did they elect us? If they had any brains at all, we certainly wouldn't be sitting here.